“The mass of men lead lives of quiet Desperation.” Henry David Thoreau
“Joseph Campbell, when asked how one should live, was fond of saying , “Follow your bliss.”
He understood that most of the time we live according to the dictates of parents and culture, losing the best part of ourselves along the way.” (This passage is from ‘The Middle Passage – From Misery to Meaning in Midlife.’)
1993 by James Hollis; Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts, Daryl Sharp, General Editor; page 105). Hollis prefers “Follow your Passion” to “Follow your Bliss.”
Writes Hollis, “When he was entering his tenth decade, sculptor Henry Moore was asked how he could continue so richly and he replied. “that he had a passion so great that he could never chip it all away.”
Hollis also quotes the Greek novelist Kazantzakis who advised, “Leave nothing for death to take, nothing but a few bones.” Hollis continues, “We are called to this present life to live it most fully. We cannot approach death and infirmity hesitant and ashamed, whining about the past. If we are to be fully ourselves, then surely now is the time.”
Hollis lays out 4 Axioms for living:
“1) Life without passion is life without depth;
2) Passion, while dangerous to order, predictability and sanity, is the expression of the life force;
3) One cannot draw near the gods, the archetypal depths, without risking the largeness of life which they demand and passion provides;
4) Finding and following one’s passion serves one’s individuation.”
The process of ‘individuation’ involves the development of one’s particular individualness separate from the universal. It is when individuals become differentiated from all others. In Jungian psychology it is a process of transformation.
For me the concept of ‘individuation’ is reminiscent of the famous quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson (a fellow transcendentalist of Thoreaus, and his mentor,..both men believed in the simple life and a spiritual connection to nature). Both Emerson and Thoreau were non-conformists and very unique individuals, self-reliant and independent. They believed in a certain mysticism that defined and underlied, reality. Their metaphysics involved a fierce fealty to one’s soul or conscience, free from religion, politics and society, in general.
Emerson wrote, in a foreshadowing of the individuation process (it could almost be a transcendental motto):
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to change you is the greatest accomplishment.”
Getting back to Thoreau, upon further reflection, I think his words are just as relevant today as the time he originally said them in the 19th century.
Everyone today, in the middle of a once in a hundred years pandemic, seems to be stressed out and anxious – states of neurosis seem to be rampant. People act irrationally, over-react emotionally to daily events. Part of the problem is that so few are working at steady jobs and, as a result, people are into greater and greater personal debt. Drama is created out of nothing.
As in the pervasive angst of the 20th century (think of Sartre and Existentialism and his novel ‘Nausea’), in this 21st century there is pervasive anxiety – even I feel that I am suffering from neurosis which affects all my relationships –family and friends. I have taken up smoking small cigars as a coping mechanism. Other efforts to control my neurosis include quiet meditation, alcohol and marijuana along with an addiction for watching old classic movies as a form of escapism. I’m also jogging some days.
My strategy seems to be working – at times, many mornings, with the help of my wife’s optimism, I feel euphoric and the world seems wonderful…other times I feel like Malcolm Lowry’s character, Geoffrey Firmin, in the novel ‘Under the Volcano’…experiencing a “crack up.”
Lately I have been acting irrationally. I impulsively ended a terrific friendship with a friend in a rash decision because I felt she was judging me out of context of my life situation!.. tho’ I think in retrospect that she was trying to give me well intentioned advice(however, her barrage of insults one morning over coffee seemed totally out of character for a Yoga instructor!) , some people have no filter,which is not an endearing quality at times(her insults were completely out of character for a Yoga teacher- I began to question her credentials, her ‘teacher’ presentation style always seemed filled with trepidation)– nevertheless it was a decision I still regret – (“To err is human, to forgive divine,” wrote Alexander Pope-I miss her crooked smile, comical thrift-store clothes and her hilarious stories-she had completed the individuation process, no doubt) – our connection seemed, at times, supernatural – we both read a book, “Journey of Souls” by Michael Newton (I highly recommend this book) and became naively convinced that we may have known each other prior to this life…we were maybe part of the same “soul group” that Newton describes…an episode that made me think that there was a supernatural element to our friendship occurred one day when I took a 4 hour trip up to my cottage and back – I played a CD of Ethiopian piano music that she gave me, one of her favourite recordings, and when I got back to Guelph my car was filled with the smell of her perfume, which my wife noticed immediately, she asked if my friend had been in the car, I answered, “only her music CD”; a very bizarre phenomenon!). After I ended the friendship she started to act like an adolescent…I started to see her dark side that many of her co-workers spoke of….I came to believe the love I had for her as a friend was me looking at the woman she aspired to become(my life -long habit of idealizing woman friends continued to my regret). Soon she was spreading venom all over our small circle of mutual friends….not a pleasant thing to see! But I,finally, learned to be careful in my tendency to idealize people and give them the benefit of the doubt…a terrible flaw in my character!!
I also find my anxiety has me never staying still, always doing errands, many non- essential.
I’m seriously thinking of finding a Jungian analyst to help me work on this state of neurosis. A good Analyst probably can bring out unconscious elements of one’s psyche and re-establish meaning (passion, perhaps) while helping in the maturation process of one’s personality.
I naively think that Jungian analysis may help my writing and alleviate some of my ‘quiet desperation’ that Thoreau speaks of.
I also question my Essay project of interpreting all the famous quotes I’ve collected since I was a teenager. I thought that writing explanatory essays on these quotes would fulfill my need to express my deepest thoughts at my ripe age of 68 years old. Instead, I think all this writing (and Rummaging) has unleashed things in the well of my unconscious mind, producing a state of neurosis. Instead of finding eternal peace , I have unleashed a stir fry of muddled thoughts that has affected my connection to my muse.
Yet everyday when I work on my Essays, I feel
I’m doing something important. In fact, ‘work’, is a poor word (turning to Richard Bach again, he writes, “The more I want to get something done, the less I call it ‘work’)…on my best days I feel my ideas and thoughts are flowing. This might explain my better days as I work diligently to finish my philosophical book, ‘Rummagings of a Lapsed Boomer’, I just hope the words of Richard Bach come true for me:
“What a caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.”
The day my book is published will be the day I fly into an unknown future and look back at my 4 years of writing, virtually every day.
If this is an ending of sorts, I expect to move on to other projects.
As Richard Bach writes elsewhere;
“Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you’re alive, it isn’t.
To end this essay I think it’s appropriate to return to Thoreau for some closing words for a solution to anxiety (perhaps):
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.”
I, for one, have dreams that will take me to 100 years old, hoping I never “chip away” my passion for living well, learning always, just like Henry Moore.
Post Script 1982
My anxiety isn’t a new thing, maybe I’ve always been neurotic too? Something quite comical happened to my wife Sue and I back in 1982. I had just started teaching at the University of Guelph. We had two young children. Ronald Reagan was President of the United States and Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister of the UK. They were both saber-rattling with the Soviet Union’s Mikhail Gorbachev (who turned out to be an enlightened leader in the end). The problem was they weren’t rattling sabers but they all had nuclear weapons. I was beginning to think a nuclear war was inevitable so my wife and I started looking for a safe place to raise our children. We searched the southern hemisphere as I believed that a nuclear war would mainly destroy the northern hemisphere. So we looked for a place far away from civilization…a place that no one cares about. We settled on the Falkland Islands(it had a British culture similar to Canada, so we would be comfortable with the culture) as a peaceful place to raise our children – a place far away from the nuclear powers.
We started making plans to move, saving money and getting ready to sell the house so we could have a nice “nest egg” so we wouldn’t have to work – so we could just live a peaceful life enjoying raising a family…living for each moment. Then the most unexpected thing happened! Argentina made claim of the Falklands which were a British overseas Territory (the islands are known as ‘Islas Malvinas’ in Spanish). The British immediately sent warships and troops to the Islands and took complete sovereign control of the Falklands. Meanwhile, and while our plans were immediately shelved and life passed in Guelph, Ontario, Canada. The Falklands story has provided many a good laugh over the years for my family. As it turned out, Guelph was a fine place to raise children and we’ve never regretted living there, making many good friends and establishing 5 profitable, award-winning restaurants.